Day 307: Tiny Muscle, Giant Annoyance

I'm not sure what kind of ingenious move I had to pull to achieve this, but somehow I've managed to strain a very small muscle in my left forearm. Don't be fooled though. The impediment it causes relative to the size of the muscle is truly impressive. For the time being, I must avoid using any terms that include the letter double-u. That's pretty difficult as it turns out. Q is much easier to dodge though.

Today I'll be talking about hand stretches. And before you ask, this is a completely unrelated topic I have chosen for no particular reason. According to Harvard Health, who (ow) put out this document on exercises for pain free hands there are three primary hand stretches. Flexor stretches, extensor stretches, and resisted isometrics.

The first couple are exactly the stretches you immediately imagined. You just pull your hand one direction and then the other. The isometrics frankly look like a giant misuse of my time and don't actually stretch anything. You're supposed to hold a hand still and then flex it. As if this somehow helps? I don't get it. I'm not sure this even counts as a stretch.

Looking farther afield, the internet is full of hand stretching guides, but none of them suggest anything but holding your hand in various formations. All just normal shapes your hand makes throughout the day. I guess that makes sense, but I was kinda hoping for something a little more spectacular. Hand yoga perhaps. How has nobody suggested making a tree with my hands if there are so many aw(ow)kw(ow)w(ow)ard positions for the rest of the body? I'm disappointed in our collective lack of imagination. I must remedy this problem, even if I hurt myself further in doing so.

Thank you for reading,

Benjamin Hawley