Day 277: Writing Exercise 2, Ernest Hemingway

Today's exercise is one I've actually done before. Replicating Hemingway's style is actually a lot easier than other styles in my opinion, in large part because his is so distinct. It's such a departure from many other writers who use adverbs and adjectives back to back to back, fill their pages with dialogue tags, and drown all their best sentences in wasteful over-description. At least, that's what a Hemingway fanboy might say anyway.

As for the sample, here's a link to a story that I'll be referencing often in this post. 'A Clean Well-Lighted Place' is one of the first Hemingway stories I ever read. It has his hallmark spartan description, tagless dialogue, and working man themes with an ambiguous meaning. You might think that such a straightforward style would make for a stale read, but Hemingway has this masterful ability to hide all kinds of subtlety in those direct statements. He uses metaphors and similes sparingly, but the details he picks out often give a deep insight into how the narrator thinks and the general atmosphere of the setting. The dialogue is also revealing of how the characters feel, although the reader does have to do quite a bit of reading between the lines. I think with these points in mind I should be able to produce a deceptively deep read with simple prose.

The goal today is simplicity. Write an introductory paragraph that packs as much atmosphere into as few details as possible. Then segue immediately into some dialogue with a lot of subtext. I'll figure out the end along the way. I'm aiming for less than 500 words. Here goes nothing.

A busy night on the lido deck had left the whole poolside a mess. Everyone had left for their cabins except for the cleaning crew that picked their way through the debris leftover from the party with high knees and long graspers. Two stuck together to clean in tandem while the third was left to run the pool vacuum. The vacuum was always run at night when the pool was empty and the cool breeze wicked the sweat away. Since the two who cleaned together knew it was the worst job, they had left it to the unlucky one, who was a bad sport about such things and made himself all the more likely to get the worst jobs. They kept an eye on him while they worked to make sure he was thorough.

"Look, he's missed a spot," the younger one said.

"No he hasn't, that's just a stain."

"Maybe we should tell him to use some chlorine. That would clear up a stain."

"I've seen him use it three times already. The pool will be caustic if he uses any more."

They worked quickly, one always turned toward the pool, the other making sure no litter was left uncollected. The unlucky one was unusually silent tonight and the only noise was the whir of the vacuum motor and the rattle of a loose floorboard that it sat on.

"I wish he would move that vacuum. It's making a horrible noise."

"He's doing it to needle us for sticking him with the vacuum again."

"Should we tell him to move it?"

"No, don't give him the satisfaction. Look, we're almost done. He'll be out here another half-hour to clean up all the silt in the pool. That's enough punishment isn't it?"

"For his attitude, maybe, but not for what he said to me last week."

"What did he say to you last week?"

"Oh, I couldn't mention it."

"That bad?"

"Yes, terrible. About my girlfriend."

The younger one plucked a bag of chips from his grasper and hurled it over his shoulder. It flew into the pool and landed upside down so the dusty orange remains within spilled into the water and drifted to the bottom. The unlucky one didn't even notice.

"Damn him. He doesn't even care. He could at least shake his fist at me or something."

"Don't bother yourself with him any longer. Come on, that's the last bit. We're done."

They left the deck, empty now save for the unlucky one, who sighed with relief as the others went. He moved the vacuum off the loose floorboard and readjusted it so no guests would trip and it wouldn't make that noise any longer, then cleaned up the spilt bag. He strained to pull the heavy vacuum head up from the bottom of the pool and put it away in the storeroom, leaving it in an easy spot to maneuver it out. There was no question about who would end up with that job again tomorrow.

Thank you for reading,

Benjamin Hawley