Day 238: Attitude in Fiction

I found an interesting tidbit of advice in a book I'm reading called 'Characters and Viewpoint,' by Orson Scott Card. He makes the point that without bringing a certain attitude based on the perspective you're writing, there's not much point in describing or defining the world around them. It is human nature to process information with a certain outlook, and without including that in your writing, there's little characterization that can come from basic interactions. On the flip side, if you do include a clear attitude, you can learn a lot about a character just by getting into their headspace. Here's an example from the book, first without attitude, and then with:

An attractive-looking man came up to Nora's desk, glanced at her nameplate, and smiled at her. "Hi, Nora. Want some lunch?"
"No thanks," she answered. "I'll buy it somewhere else."
He looked confused.
"Aren't you the sandwich man? The last place I worked, they had a man who came around taking sandwich orders."

This feels dry, and a little confusing. What's going on? What is a sandwich man? Why did we just read that passage at all? It has little or nothing to do with the characters on the page. But now instead, with attitude:

He had a sharp, clean look about him, he was thin and wore clothes well, but Nora didn't like the confident way he looked down at her. As if he had a right to decide things for her. She had had bosses with that look, and they always ended up talking about her clothing and how she ought to brighten up the office by wearing something a little lower in the neckline.
His gaze dropped to the nameplate on her desk, just for a moment. Then he looked her in the eye again. "Hi, Nora. Want some lunch?" he said.
That's right, don't ask if I want lunch with you, just ask if I want lunch. If I say no, does that mean I have to sit at my desk and go hungry? "No thanks," she answered. "I'll buy it somewhere else."
He looked confused. She enjoyed that.
"Aren't you the sandwich man? The last place I worked, they had a man who came around taking sandwich orders."
He wasn't stupid--he knew he was being put down. "I was too cocky right?"
"Not at all. I think you were just cocky enough."
That was a mistake. She was bantering with him now, and he was the kind who though banter was a come-on. He started into some silly story about how a guy gets nervous when he sees a beautiful woman, he genes take over and he starts to swagger and preen.
"Preen?"
"Like peacocks and grouses. Put on a display. But that's not me. I'm really a sensitive guy. I make Phil Donahue look like a truck driver."
Time to put a stop to this. "You don't want to have lunch with me. I have seven children at home and three different social diseases. I also lead men on and then yell rape when they get too close. I am every nightmare you ever had about a domineering career woman. I think a man like you would call a woman like me a castrating bitch."
He didn't answer right away. Just looked at her, his smile gone cold. "No," he finally said. "That's what my mother would call you." He stood up." "You're new here. I asked you to lunch. My mistake, sorry." He walked on past he rdesk and out the door.
That's right, act hurt. You were just being friendly, and I jumped all over you. Bit I know better than that. I've seen that smile on too many faces not to know what lies behind it and where it leads. The man I'll go to lunch with is the one who doesn't speak to me until the normal course of work brings us together, and he won't ask me to lunch until he knows my name without looking at the nameplate on my desk.

Huge difference, right? We get to know Nora a lot better, as well as the guy trying to smooth talk her. With all the extra details it's also a lot more clear what's going on. In the first passage, it isn't even clear what a sandwich man is, or why she would ask him if he is one. Given, it is much longer, but that's part of the reason the first passage doesn't really have an impact on the story. If even the author views something as needless, to be touched on and left alone as quickly as possible, then why include it at all? I've been slowly learning to do this subconsciously but these examples have given me a clear insight to the process. I think this will really help me in the future and I hope it gives you something to think about as well.

Thank you for reading,

Benjamin Hawley