Day 186: From Russia With Love

The fifth Bond novel might seem like a strange place to start in such a iconic series of books, but I did that on purpose. Often when reading the first novel in a series that's been adapted as many times as Bond has, I end up comparing it so closely to a movie I've inevitably watched (Casino Royale) that it can alter or even ruin my experience of the novel itself. I suspect this maybe why I was so disappointed by Red October. There was a movie based on 'From Russia With Love' way back in the Connery era in 1963, but I haven't seen that movie, and don't really plan to. I just want to talk about the book today though, and boy do I have some opinions about this novel.

This is my first Bond book, and as far as Bond stories go, this was totally on par with expectations in most ways. There's a scene where M goes over the mission with Bond in his quaint British office, the Q department gadgetry (that is sadly under utilized) makes an appearance, a sexy Bond girl makes Bond question his better judgement, and of course there's some senseless violence instigated by the evil Soviet organization SMERSH. The plot is driven by a Soviet konspiratsia laid out in the beginning. Their goal is to not only kill Bond, but totally discredit and destroy his good name along with the intelligence agency he represents. The beautiful but innocent Tatiana Romanova is selected to tempt Bond into a plot masterminded by SMERSH's most petulantly evil old lady, Colonel Klebb. Klebb compels Tania to draw Bond to Turkey by threatening her former lovers and friends with torture. Lovely woman. Tania caves to her demands and makes contact with the British intelligence network. She announces that she's obsessed with Bond, who's pictures she has fallen haplessly in love with, and will only defect to him personally *wink*. She's incredibly hot (and has a neat Soviet cryptography machine), so he falls for it hook line and sinker the second he sees her in bed. Tania is unaware of the extent of the real plan though. She and Bond both are to be killed on the Orient Express as they try to escape from Turkey, then Bond will be framed for her murder. Through a mix of guile and brutality, the Soviets are able to execute the plan flawlessly right up until their efforts are defeated by Bond's indefatigable nature. No surprises there.

What did surprise me though, and I'm not sure how to put this exactly, was how Bond-like it really was. Usually when a series is adapted to the big screen, everything is heightened, sensationalized, and dramatized. I've noticed this especially in theatrical releases, where everything must be condensed down to a two hour block buster that knocks your socks clean off. Not so with Bond. If this episode was anything like the rest, then I think the movies are frankly whitewashed compared to the books. They have to do it, because if they didn't they'd have a lot of problems with selling tickets. First of all, the movies would probably all be X rated. Second, I think a lot of people would realize that the characters you're supposed to cheer for are not at all good people.

Much of the story takes place in Istanbul, where Bond works with the head of espionage there, Kerim Bey. Kerim is described as a huge man that is more full of life than anybody Bond has ever met. They go back and forth saving each other's lives in various Soviet plots, all of which serve the purpose of drawing Bond further into the clutches of SMERSH. Here's what Bond has to say about Kerim.

'Bond’s thoughts turned to Darko Kerim. What a man for Head of Station T! His size alone, in this country of furtive, stunted little men, would give him authority, and his giant vitality and love of life would make everyone his friend. Where had this exuberant shrewd pirate come from? And how had he come to work for the Service? He was the rare type of man that Bond loved, and Bond already felt prepared to add Kerim to the half-dozen of those real friends whom Bond, who had no ‘acquaintances’, would be ready to take to his heart.'

Thing is, it is really, really hard to like Kerim. Like if you do, there's probably something wrong with you. Meaning there must be something deeply wrong with Bond, and seeing as he is the hero of British intelligence ... well you get the point.

But why is it so hard to like him you ask? Well, here's a few select quotes from the man himself.

'He sat back, smiling at Bond. ‘That is the only way to treat these damned people [Turks]. They love to be cursed and kicked. It is all they understand. It is in the blood. All this pretence of democracy is killing them. They want some sultans and wars and rape and fun. Poor brutes, in their striped suits and bowler hats. They are miserable. You’ve only got to look at them. However, to hell with them all.'

Well maybe he's just prejudiced against Turks and Turks alone after living in their country so long? Not that I'm forgiving that, but I mean, as long as he's fighting for the greater good right?

'My father was the sort of man women can’t resist. All women want to be swept off their feet. In their dreams they long to be slung over a man’s shoulder and taken into a cave and raped. That was his way with them.'

Well ... that's pretty bad, but he's just speaking from his father's point of view here ... must be.

'By the time I was twenty, I had a boat of my own and I was making money. But I was wild. I left the big house and went to live in two small rooms on the waterfront. I wanted to have my women where my mother would not know. There was a stroke of bad luck. I had a little Bessarabian hell-cat. I had won her in a fight with some gipsies, here in the hills behind Istanbul. They came after me, but I got her on board the boat. I had to knock her unconscious first. She was still trying to kill me when we got back to Trebizond, so I got her to my place and took away all her clothes and kept her chained naked under the table. When I ate, I used to throw scraps to her under the table, like a dog. She had to learn who was master. Before that could happen, my mother did an unheard-of thing. She visited my place without warning. She came to tell me that my father wanted to see me immediately. She found the girl. My mother was really angry with me for the first time in my life. Angry? She was beside herself. I was a cruel ne’er-do-well and she was ashamed to call me son. The girl must immediately be taken back to her people. My mother brought her some of her own clothes from the house. The girl put them on, but when the time came, she refused to leave me.’ Darko Kerim laughed hugely. ‘An interesting lesson in female psychology, my dear friend.'

No, he's just a kidnapping, pirate rapist. Of course Bond's feelings about him aren't harmed in any way by these discussions. This seriously almost got me cheering for the Soviets for a second there.

Anyway, the British had no problem putting this guy and his entire family on their payroll, probably because he's extremely effective when it comes to sniffing out the enemy. Throughout the novel he's able to covertly dispatch at least four enemy operatives. The last one he kills as his dying act, sacrificing himself to protect Bond and Tania from yet another Soviet assassin hiding in wait on the Orient Express.

Bond is then confronted by Soviet assassin Donovan Grant, who is described in fantastic detail at the beginning of the novel. Thankfully, this guy is a complete psychopath who kills people in the dozens every full moon, and defected to the Soviets because they happily feed his murderous appetites. So at least Bond and co. aren't that bad. This guy was a little wasted in my opinion, only showing up at the very beginning, and the very end. Though he's able to spectacularly outplay Bond in his short time on page, he eventually overplays his hand and Bond is able to get the better of him.

In the end, the Soviet conspiracy is defeated, Bond gets the girl, and then confronts Colonel Klebb who goes down rather easily ... until she stabs Bond with a poisoned boot knife and Bond goes down and then it just ends. Giant cliffhanger. Ian Fleming can bite me, I'm never reading one of these stupid novels ever again in my life, why is it a cliffhanger what the hell is wrong with you this is the dumbest novel I've ever read I'm going to explode.

I guess the lesson here is that even though people might have been really despicable in their pasts, they're still capable of fighting for the right thing here and now. Kerim does some heroic things despite being a sex fiend. Bond does some heroic things despite being a professional liar and assassin. Tania was always planning to go with Bond back to Britain and actually defect. The hardcore Soviets, however, do absolutely nothing heroic ever and won't even die peacefully because they are hardcore Soviets. The end.

Thank you for reading,

Benjamin Hawley